There are quite a few lotteries in my southern state, some offering small-value prizes, another a hundred grand, and one that promises a thousand dollars a day for the rest of your life. The games that most people dream of winning, however, are the PowerBall and Mega Millions—but only when they skirt billion-dollar payouts.
In 2009, when we lived up north, I missed out on a million dollars on a short-lived game called Super 7 when I hit six and not seven of the numbers. Instead of taking early retirement, which is what I would have done at that point, I walked away with a cool $10K. (Yes, yes, a bittersweet win if ever there was one!) I’ve also scored the fourth-tier prize on both the PowerBall and Mega Millions (i.e. matching four of the five main numbers) many times through the years, pocketing anywhere from $200 to $1000. In the grand scheme of things, in other words, I’ve won more than I lost.
Everyone dreams of what they’d do with a billion-dollar payout. My mantra would be a play on what the dormouse said: “Keep your head!”
Oh, of course, the first thing one does is hire an attorney, a financial advisor and other monied experts to help shepherd the winnings into interest-bearing accounts and low-risk investments. I’d help out family and friends, as well, donate plenty to worthy charities, and create a cat rescue for all the felines friends I’ve yet to meet. I’d also open a string of 20 or 30 coffeehouses, primarily in the suburbs, and create a circuit for up-and-coming singer-songwriters and bands to play.
I specify “coffeehouses” and “suburbs” for a reason. As a kid, I always wanted to see artists and bands that played 21-and-over bars and clubs. Then, as an adult in the Philly area, I discovered that traveling an hour into the city to see a show, paying as much or more to park than the concert tickets themselves, dealing with oft-inebriated patrons, and then traveling an hour home, didn’t always mesh well with my enjoyment, work schedule and entertainment budget. I’d construct my alcohol-free venues with plenty of free parking, and then book my favorite artists and bands. Making money wouldn’t matter as much as providing fans young and old a safe space to see cool singer-songwriters and bands, all of whom would be well paid. It’d be a win-win-win.
The Old Grey Cat 
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